Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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