Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
