If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
