Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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