Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
tell me about the fingering
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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