i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
