They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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