respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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