This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
