Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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