I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
