we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
