chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
