He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
