I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
