We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
