In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
