It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I will be naked everywhere
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
whose parrot is this?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
