last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize