Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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