he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
