I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
