So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
did i just pee glitter
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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