why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she peed on how many people?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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