I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
