I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
