i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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