i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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