Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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