Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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