i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
