One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
