If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
