i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
