Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Green mimosas i think yes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
