We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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