i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
