Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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