@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
