My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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