Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
