oh god the rape fog is back!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
