she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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