I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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