yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
