think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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