omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
