what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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