oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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