Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
