He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
