dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
