he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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