he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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